It was a Dark and Stormy Night

The 2002 winners of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest — which recognizes exceptionally bad writing — were announced yesterday.

I love these awards... the literary equivalent to Black's "Worst-Dressed List." While an Oakland woman (Ms. Rephah Berg) took top honors, my favorite among the finalists was Mr. Charles Howland of St. Paul, Minnesota, who was the runner-up:

"...He mused that she was much like a sweet ripe juicy peach, except for her not being a fuzzy three-inch sphere produced by a tree with pink blossoms and that she had internal organs and could talk."